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Thursday, April 22, 2021

Is Your Spouse Hiding Their Drinking?

 


Cognitive dissonance is a defining characteristic of substance abuse disorders. This term, coined by psychologist Leon Festinger, refers to a psychological phenomenon in which a person’s actions and beliefs become disconnected. It explains why people who drink to excess might take extreme measures to disguise their activities or downplay their problem’s severity.

As your spouse’s substance abuse progresses from tolerance to dependence to a full-fledged addiction, they might inwardly admit they have a growing struggle, but could still outwardly refuse help or brush off your concerns. In observance of Alcohol Awareness Month this April, what are some warning signs of hidden drinking, and how can you tell if your spouse has been covering up a worsening drinking habit?

1. Secrecy

Drinking excessively can lead to extreme guilt, whether someone is embarrassed about things they did under the influence or ashamed by their inability to walk away from alcohol on their own. A habit of secrecy can arise from a problem drinker attempting to minimize their shame. For example, alcoholics may try to mask their drinking by pouring alcohol into a different vessel such as a soda can or reusable water bottle.

Having a secret stash of alcohol is another sign of hidden drinking. If you stumble upon bottles in a closet, drawer or cupboard, or under or behind furniture, it’s a red flag that your spouse is trying to conceal their issues from you.

2. Dishonesty

Someone in the grip of an active addiction might say or do things they’d never have dreamed of before alcohol took over their life, including lying to health professionals and loved ones. Since addiction changes the brain’s pleasure and reward system, someone who relies on alcohol will struggle to feel “normal” when they aren’t drinking. It’s no exaggeration to say that the desire to drink can become an overriding compulsion, to a point that your spouse might start routinely lying to you about where they go or who they spend time with.

3. Denial

Many people with substance use disorders also surround themselves in a cloud of denial, deliberately choosing to ignore all the problems their substance use is creating. Your spouse might try to dismiss or minimize symptoms like mood swings or gastrointestinal upset. They might angrily rebuff you if you suggest that they cut back on their alcohol use or ask them to go to therapy. Or, they may claim they can quit whenever they choose to and don’t need professional help.

Holistic Residential Rehab in California

It can be challenging to notice when someone you love has a drinking problem, especially when they go so far to hide the issue from you. If your spouse has carefully woven a shield of secrecy and deception to conceal how much and how often they drink, you may have trouble spotting the warning signs.

Don’t despair if you have reasons to suspect your spouse is abusing alcohol. Alternative addiction treatment is available to help your partner get their life back on track. At Complete Harmony, we empower our clients to break the cycle of substance abuse outside the confines of traditional 12-step treatment. Contact us today to learn more about how to get help for your loved one.
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