Is Your Spouse Hiding Their Drinking?

 

Cognitive dissonance is a defining characteristic of substance abuse disorders. This term, coined by psychologist Leon Festinger, refers to a psychological phenomenon in which a person’s actions and beliefs become disconnected. It explains why people who drink to excess might take extreme measures to disguise their activities or downplay their problem’s severity.

As your spouse’s substance abuse progresses from tolerance to dependence to a full-fledged addiction, they might inwardly admit they have a growing struggle, but could still outwardly refuse help or brush off your concerns. In observance of Alcohol Awareness Month this April, what are some warning signs of hidden drinking, and how can you tell if your spouse has been covering up a worsening drinking habit?

1. Secrecy

Drinking excessively can lead to extreme guilt, whether someone is embarrassed about things they did under the influence or ashamed by their inability to walk away from alcohol on their own. A habit of secrecy can arise from a problem drinker attempting to minimize their shame. For example, alcoholics may try to mask their drinking by pouring alcohol into a different vessel such as a soda can or reusable water bottle.

Having a secret stash of alcohol is another sign of hidden drinking. If you stumble upon bottles in a closet, drawer or cupboard, or under or behind furniture, it’s a red flag that your spouse is trying to conceal their issues from you.

2. Dishonesty

Someone in the grip of an active addiction might say or do things they’d never have dreamed of before alcohol took over their life, including lying to health professionals and loved ones. Since addiction changes the brain’s pleasure and reward system, someone who relies on alcohol will struggle to feel “normal” when they aren’t drinking. It’s no exaggeration to say that the desire to drink can become an overriding compulsion, to a point that your spouse might start routinely lying to you about where they go or who they spend time with.

3. Denial

Many people with substance use disorders also surround themselves in a cloud of denial, deliberately choosing to ignore all the problems their substance use is creating. Your spouse might try to dismiss or minimize symptoms like mood swings or gastrointestinal upset. They might angrily rebuff you if you suggest that they cut back on their alcohol use or ask them to go to therapy. Or, they may claim they can quit whenever they choose to and don’t need professional help.

Holistic Residential Rehab in California

It can be challenging to notice when someone you love has a drinking problem, especially when they go so far to hide the issue from you. If your spouse has carefully woven a shield of secrecy and deception to conceal how much and how often they drink, you may have trouble spotting the warning signs.

Don’t despair if you have reasons to suspect your spouse is abusing alcohol. Alternative addiction treatment is available to help your partner get their life back on track. At Complete Harmony, we empower our clients to break the cycle of substance abuse outside the confines of traditional 12-step treatment. Contact us today to learn more about how to get help for your loved one.

Signs That Your Loved One Has a Secret Drinking Problem

We like to think that alcoholism is obvious; that we would all know if we were living, working, or interacting with someone who was drinking. While addiction may be apparent in certain cases, some alcohol-dependent people manage to hide their compulsion to drink. Over time, addicted individuals become adept at concealing their behavior by lying about their whereabouts, banking creatively to fund their habit, or diluting liquor to conceal how much they have consumed.

5 Possible Signs of a Hidden Alcohol Addiction
Individuals with alcohol abuse problems hide their drinking for many reasons: to protect their family or marriage, secure their job, safeguard their image, or avoid nagging relatives. Over time, signs of alcoholism may become more apparent as a family member becomes less capable of managing their tangled web of lies and deception.

Common signs of a hidden drinking problem may include:

1. Frequent mention of illness. This complaint may just indicate a hangover, but could also be due to liver damage, a suppressed immune system or the inability to fend off viruses or bacterial infections. 

2. Changes in personal appearance or hygiene. A sudden disinterest in showering, oral care, or nutrition could be a symptom of alcohol abuse. Over time, unaddressed neglect of self-care may also lead to gum disease, malnutrition, or gastrointestinal conditions that could complicate a substance abuser’s health.

3. Defensiveness. Men and women struggling with an alcohol addiction can become agitated and defensive when confronted—especially when they are unprepared to admit the problem. Do not let this deter you; seek professional help if necessary. Our addiction counselors can assist you with scheduling a life-saving intervention.

4. Hiding places. Finding a bottle of liquor tucked away in the linen closet or behind tools in the garage is a red flag that your loved one is hiding evidence of their substance abuse problem.

5. Mint & gum use. If your spouse, child, or parent is never without gum or mints—even for short periods of time—they could be disguising the alcohol on their breath.

Help for Hidden Addictions
If you believe that someone you love is hiding a life-threatening alcohol compulsion or substance abuse disorder, call a recovery specialist at 866.930.4673 to schedule an intervention or inquire about comfortable detox programs for alcohol, street drugs, or prescription medications. Our team is available 24/7 and can also be reached using our confidential online form.